Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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