Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
