she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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