Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
