I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
