Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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