you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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