wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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