....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Let the clothes fall where they may.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
