Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
and she was petting her beer can
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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