i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
