you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I am available for nakedness
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
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