I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
