Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Randomize
