Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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