Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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