I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
