I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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