if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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