My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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