omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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