I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Randomize
