Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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