Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is your signature on my underwear?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
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