3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize