wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
