Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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