Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
