I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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