I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
