this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
