This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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