Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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