i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
