ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
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