Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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