First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!