I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
