if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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