I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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