WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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