3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
