fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Found the puke drawer
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
