Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
