that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
