Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize
