Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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