Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
