Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Randomize
