is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I AM VODKA MAN
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
