He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
