I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
