kristin has been a bad kristin
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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