Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I think your dad took our porno
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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