you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
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