Grow some girl-balls and come out already
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
